2013​-​2014 demos

by jadeworm

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  • i will hand write a letter to you telling you all about my day. if you would like, you could even imagine it was delivered via carrier pigeon, or some other mail-creature. if you would like me to include anything special in the letter, include it in the "message to the seller" section. namaste.
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credits

released August 4, 2015

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jadeworm Easton, Connecticut

ct bedroom music

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Track Name: i'm gonna die
If I had just one more day, I'd probably spend it with you.

I don't know what we're doing. None of it seems right at all.
Just take my hand, we'll be ok. They'll come and take us away.

We'd kill the time, we'd both seem fine. Deep down, we'd have nothing to do. We'd kill the time, and you'd be mine. But deep down I'm nothing to you.
Track Name: old reliable (acoustic)
flying high
losing balance
on a hill
burning lungs
ringing ears
faded shirt
dried up eyes
spotted face
fingernails
claw the flesh
cobra fingers
kingdom come

heavy heart and heavy hands
the only one who understands
worldly fibers tear apart
it devours my beating heart
screaming violently inside
it's my crisis and my pride
shards of glass stick out my throat
i could fix this but i won't
Track Name: new year
"new year, new me," brags the bleach blonde hair and paper smile. the ball drops, and with it: my expectations. it seems this year's the same as all the other years, 1998 - present.
the sawdust dreams filled with angsty screams for something to hold onto -- not just a table top or handlebars, but a living, breathing human.
just because you have a new calendar doesn't mean things aren't still the same; just because your phone says 2014 instead of 2013 doesn't mean you're any different than before.
this new year doesn't mean shit
Track Name: love me
why can't you understand me? why can't you realize? why can't you see that I need you?
go smoke your cigarettes, and i'll smoke mine. we're both addicted to a state of mind.
why can't you see that I love you?
Track Name: end of november
i am such a mess, trying to undress you from afar, but you cut me like a fool. i am such a bore; oh how i adore you. but while you abhor me, i am thinking of you.

i am only happy about 17% of the time.

i wanna kiss your face. i'm a waste of space, babe. please let me explain. wish i could remain. driving to your school, wish that i was cool. bleeding from your spine; bleeding in my mind.

terrified of death.

i am only happy about 17% of the time. i am only happy when i'm watching a life go by.
Track Name: basement dreams
i hope you remember me when i'm gone
i hope i die before you forget me
a hopeless dream i can't complete
i wish i died before you met me

ooh
aah
Track Name: sad acoustic ballad
first comes the pause, then comes the punctuation. silence floats like oil upon frustration. bright light, burning eyes to blissful blindness. it's locked in your brain, no hope to ever find it.

and i know you're not gonna feel anything. i might try and do the same thing too. i don't know how i keep ending up here. i'm just chasing ghosts.

i wanna know what it's like to fall out of a car going 80 miles an hour. if life is a highway then i'm laid out flat across the fast lane. i might blame myself for where i am, but the truth is, you put me here and i'm not sure how to get out when i know i'll be run over whether i get up or stay on the asphalt.

the swerving floodlights illuminate a face of bitter contentedness. the flashing blue and red reflect the obvious answer. what's left to love? you've torn me limb from limb.
Track Name: sleep paralysis
the ash flows down your throat like the wine (once water) that you sip with a straw that looks like it's metal, but it's really just plastic. i think to myself how sad it is to be alive sometimes, watching the words fall out of your mouth one by one like tiny spiders. do you even know how you make me wanna take a blank page and cover it with ink -- but not words -- just shapes that swim like giant squids. i am verbally incapable.

puking out snakes and sadness, losing self control. i can feel when i'm alone, only feel when i'm alone. days melt into weeks, melt into months without a soul. i wonder if it's my fault, or even under my control. can't show the right feelings, so i express none at all. blank slate, fixed rate, concrete wall.

i'm pretty sure the outside world has outgrown me